Marriage Breakups!

Marriage is a beautiful thing. I'm not married yet but I envy people who are married. It's an event I can't wait for in my life. Recently, I've read somewhere that on the average, married people are happier than people who are single.

Sadly, however, the rate of marriage breakups is directly proportional to the number who are getting married every other day. People gather family and friends for a pomp and pageantry of a ceremony, only to part ways when the memories of the ceremony is still fresh in the minds of invitees.

I just want to take a bite from it though I can produce a litany of thesis of the very causes of marriage breakups.

Now, gossips at weddings is not uncommon. These gossips sometimes can predict the survival of a wedding on course. The last wedding I attended, nearly everyone at the wedding grounds could write a biography of both the groom and the bride. The prognosis of the invited guests of the wedding was not good. I won't be blunt about it but certainly it will be the crux of my take.

Love is prime in all relations. Only love can survive a marriage. I've read several literatures that say love is not enough in a relationship. Believers of scientific love are also of the thought that love doesn't pay the bills.

Well, I believe that when you truly loves someone, you're always willing to make sacrifices and compromises no matter the turmoil and storm. When you truly loves someone, "they" become like demigods and are nearly almost flawless in your very eyes.

A true love is someone you're very comfortable with. His or her presence makes you gay.

Love to some degree may not be all in marriage, but it is the very foundation on which other vital enforcements hinge on.

Marriage should be a mutual consent of two thinking adults who have upon sober reflections agreed to stay together as one for the rest of their lives. And this mutual consensus can only be reached if both players can find a piece of each other in the other.

There is a basic rule of marriage: If you force it, it will break.

Don't go on with it if there seem to be some visible or invisible temporary structures holding your relationship with someone. After marriage, these known and unknown structures will all withdraw and the true posture of your relationship and marriage would be appreciated by all.

It's not uncommon to hear popular gossips at wedding grounds like, the bride didn't want the wedding but she has to consider it because of A, B, C. No matter the standing of a woman, be it angel she is, a man must not cry, sweat, break a leg or eat pepper before getting her as bride. A woman must not also beg a man to marry her simply because her biological clock is ticking to MEN-O-PAUSE. In short, the two must be very comfortable with their union for eternity.

Note: if you beg someone to marry you, you will continue to beg for the rest of the marriage.

That is the phenomenon now at weddings. People are making compromises to get into marriage. And these compromises are so open to an extent that it forms headlines for discussions among guests at wedding ceremonies.

The reasons for today's weddings are clear: people are marrying for survival reasons, people are marrying from prestigious family, people are marrying mansions and cars et cetera. Summarily, people are mortgaging their happiness for whatever!

Of course, you need to work so hard to keep what you dearly want. But when what you need badly is not yielding results, please leave it and save yourself from the emotional troubles and pains. Everything, no matter the gravity, heals with time and comes with a priceless lesson.

Some people marry what their eyes can see, only to realise that it was all mirage. And there is no turning back. It's not wrong to marry people for what they have, but you must make sure that you love them. It is very important.

Note: Unhappiness in marriage technically is for life especially when kids come in the marriage.

I have a basic rule for myself. Whoever I'm going to marry, I must love her. It is very important. And she must love me. It is very very important.

Until I bring you the "ego", another demon for marriage breakups, ask yourself if you love him or her. If you don't, KAPUT!

"Haunted By A Married Woman", is a book I need to write to serve as non-fictional buttress to this very rant.